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10 Months Old and on the Move

Montessori in Real Life

Suddenly D is 10 months old and crawling, pulling up to stand, and trying to climb up everyone and everything! Her version of crawling is my favorite. It started out as the "worm" and has graduated to a very efficient army crawl with intermittent planks. You do you, girl. She is loving the flexibility of getting from her tummy to a sitting position, from sitting to kneeling, and then all the way up to her feet. She seems to surprise herself sometimes! To assist and promote all these new gross motor skills, I've been setting up spaces inside and out for her get that energy out. She's now a pro at pulling up at the bar/mirror my husband built, and slowly figuring out how to pull up at her rolling wagon too. Slightly terrifying, stairs are her newest favorite, but I encourage her to climb cushions on the floor instead! ;)

With all this movement, she is often less interested in her shelves. To keep things exciting, I have been rotating the toys on her shelves more frequently (at least once a week). This doesn't necessarily mean buying new toys, but rather bringing back old toys or switching something from upstairs to downstairs. I've also set up more spaces in the house for her to play, because she is often following me from room to room! One of her favorites right now is two bottom drawers in the kitchen that are filled with tupperware, kitchen utensils (whisk!), and cups for her to pull out and play with while I cook! Beyond the kitchen, here are her latest favorites! See my last post for more toy ideas.

Ball Hammering - she is just getting the hang of this one, but makes such cute noises when a ball drops through the hole! She is equally happy to use her hands or a drum stick to hit the balls.

Musical Chicken - I found this one at a local children's store and think it's just beautiful! D is a huge fan too. I have been so impressed how quickly she got the hang of using each part of it to make music! 

Rings on Post - We have this one, but for now am using simple wooden rings (see below) because they are easier for her to take off and put back on. For now, she is just taking the rings off. 

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Caterpillar Pull Toy - D loves all animals, especially ones with wheels! This one is more fun as she has started crawling around with it. 

Family Friends Photo Book - I got this idea from a Montessori classroom and it's so sweet. She loves seeing the faces of her family, and I love that she is getting familiar with extended family who live out of town.

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Rolling Ball Cylinder - Another one that is much more exciting when she can chase after it on the hardwood floor! 

Wooden Drum - D loves to make music and this one is great because the drum is double sided! 

Radio Flyer Wagon - She is still a little unsure about pulling up to stand on something that moves, but for now she enjoys pulling up to kneel and unloading sensory balls out of the wagon

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Why Our Baby Sleeps on the Floor

Montessori in Real Life

One of my favorite elements of Montessori philosophy is the environment - the purposeful, aesthetic, yet simple space for baby (or child) to be, sleep, and explore. Everything is designed to fit the child's development and size, changing as the child grows. The purpose of the environment is to promote independence, respect, and freedom to move. One traditional (and sometimes controversial!) component of this environment is the floor bed, though it is most definitely not a necessity. 

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I was pretty excited to try the floor bed, but have always kept in mind that it doesn't work for every family, and it might not always work for ours. D began sleeping in her floor bed around 6 months old, when she transitioned from a bassinet in our bedroom to her own room. We started with just the mattress on the floor, which worked for a while until she began to accidentally scoot or roll off in her sleep, sometimes waking her up. So my husband agreed to build her a floor bed frame, giving her access to scoot out, but enough of an edge to prevent accidentally rolling out. With the beautiful frame, she also loves to scoot to the corner of the bed, creating her own little nook. 

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They toughest part of having a floor bed is baby-proofing the room. Even though D isn't crawling out of bed at night (for now), the shelves are low, the outlets are child-safe, and there are no heavy or large pieces of furniture or decor that could topple. We do still have a changing table but it is anchored to the wall, and the drawers are simply canvas, with the lowest one holding cloths that are okay for her to play with. As she begins to climb, we will adjust as needed, likely removing the changing table and nursing chair. We also always have the baby monitor to make sure she's safe!

Although D isn't crawling during sleep hours, she does love to crawl around her room during awake hours. I find it so nice to have a room that I feel safe letting her play in without saying "no". Before and after naps, she can scoot around her room, play, and explore. I try to keep the "quiet" toys (books, stuffed animals, puzzles) in her bedroom to make it a more peaceful space, which is important when she is playing in there pre-sleep. I save the music making for our living/play room downstairs

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As we wind down before sleep, one of my favorite parts of the floor bed is that I can sit with her on the mattress, tuck her in, and kiss her goodnight. She is (usually) happy to be placed down in bed, and babbles and wiggles to sleep. I think starting the floor bed pre-crawling has also helped her be comfortable with it as her place of sleep. My hope is that as she gets older, she continues to enjoy this bed, as she is given the freedom to move and to sleep when she is ready. Only time will tell!

Baby-Led Weaning, a la Francaise

Montessori in Real Life

How things have already changed since my first post about D's introduction to food! While she enjoyed the simple purees her first couple months of eating, she shifted course around 6 months old. It seemed that she was most put off by the spoon itself. Since she already had 2 teeth, I cautiously gave her a little piece of banana and a couple of those dissolvable puffs instead of purees. She chewed and swallowed like a champ, and seemed to really enjoy it, so I decided to start baby-led weaning with her, with a few spoonfuls of mama's oats thrown in. This created a happier eating environment for both of us, and D quickly grasped "grasping" the food, eventually mastering the pincer grasp. So while this hasn't been the exact Montessori weaning experience I had imagined, it has been the right path for D, and given her more independence and satisfaction! (See links to her set-up at end of post)

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As someone who thoroughly enjoys both cooking and eating, I've been enjoying reading about various ways in which to help your child appreciate and enjoy a variety of foods. A few mom friends and I started a "book" club (yes, it is mostly a wine club), and our first read was French Kids Eat Everything. I had really enjoyed reading Bringing Up Bébé pre-baby, so I was optimistic about this book too. General synopsis: Canadian mom and French dad living in Canada move to France with their 2 picky-eating little daughters who (spoiler alert) soon speak fluent French and eat beet puree and fish stew (but don't forget the chocolate croissants). She offers 10 French Food Rules with lots of anecdotes and research. Overall it's worth a read to reconsider how we as adults eat too! *As I guiltily wipe crumbs off the couch* ;)

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As most parenting books go, there were quiet a few eye rolls, but there were also plenty of ideas that jived with my parenting style or inspired me. Such as... 

  • The focus of feeding babies should be on satiation and taste, rather than calories or fullness. I do think the author makes a good point that in America, we are so worried when we start introducing solids, that it takes away the pleasure of eating. Before the age of 1, babies are still getting most of their nutrients from milk, so eating can simply be a chance for babies to get used to lots of different tastes and textures.

  • Introduce real, unprocessed foods, particularly veggies. While the French introduce this in the form of purees, I've done this with whole foods (I'm okay with those messy fingers). Introducing food in its "pure" form helps to develop their tastebuds for a whole variety of foods. I do think giving D a piece of broccoli has more benefits for her future enjoyment of broccoli than disguising it in a puff cereal or muffin. That being said, I believe snacks and pancakes always have a place in our life, in moderation. :)

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  • Your child doesn't have to like the food, or even eat it, but they do have to taste it. This is an easy rule to start with babies. I've heard it a thousand times but I still need the reminder that it can take a dozen introductions for a baby to like a new food. Variety and "eating the rainbow" is so important, and if we stick with only the food they immediately like, it'll be that much harder to deal with the picky toddler years! Now that the local farmers market is open, I'm using that as an opportunity to introduce new fruits and veggies, for both of us!

  • Make mealtime a pleasant and relaxed place to eat. This is definitely one of those "easier said than done" rules for most families. I do find that when I sit and eat with D at the table, she is generally happier during the process (though she does also love her weaning table, so we do both). This "rule" also incorporates the idea of setting the table before eating. We don't make it fancy, but giving D real dishes gives her a sense of autonomy and a chance to learn consequences of throwing ("all done!").

  • A little (healthy) fat is good for babies. The French are pros at making vegetables taste delicious, and I'm pretty sure their secret is butter. The key is that they are cooking with high quality ingredients, including the fats they use. From what I've read, there is nothing wrong with adding a tiny dab of butter or olive oil to your baby's steamed veggies, and in fact, babies need healthy fats more than anything at this stage. Other good sources of fat that we've introduced are avocado, chia (sprinkled on fruit), nut butter (mixed into oats), eggs, and yogurt.

While I was inspired by the French way of eating, it was reassuring to remind myself of the "American" parenting tendencies that I am also very much on board with. Such as...breastfeeding on demand, letting D make her own (limited) choices, eating with our fingers and playing with food (exploration!), snacktime, and giving kids power and ownership! In my opinion, childhood should still be a time for playing in the dirt, and eating it too. ;)

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8 Months Old, and Making (Some) Things Happen

Montessori in Real Life

Somehow another 2 months have gone by and D is getting closer to 9 months old! The past couple of months have been the best, and D the sweetest, and honestly I haven't thought a lot about blogging. Though in all honesty, another factor in my blog hiatus has been self doubt. Is this blog providing anything original or interesting? Do I come across as a mom snob? Nothing can prepare you for the insecurity you feel as a mom, and the constant worry that you are doing things worse or lesser than other moms! The last thing I want this blog to do is make other moms feel bad about choosing a different path for their child. Because as much as I believe in the Montessori method, I also believe every child needs something different, and every mom does too. I started this blog as a way to journal my motherhood adventure with D in our Montessori-ish way, and I realized this week that worrying about what other moms think shouldn't be what keeps me from continuing that! I hope other moms agree. :) As I always say, you do you. So I'm doing me.

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Back to the topic of the hour...Miss D. While no baby is happy all the time, D comes pretty close lately. And I do know now how phases come and go, so I'm just enjoying this one while it lasts! I can't get enough of her many facial expressions, her hugs, "words", giggles, and how she "waves" at every person who smiles at her. D just seems delighted with her world, meeting new people (and seeing the familiar ones!), exploring her surroundings, but also really concentrating on her "work" at home. You can really see her start to see her understanding, and more impressively, her desire to understand, her little world. 

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Because D isn't crawling yet (lucky me, I know), she spends a lot of her day sitting or stretching out on her tummy playing with her toys. She is perfectly content doing this for up to an hour at a time, with or without me by her side. I try to make sure she has time each day to play uninterrupted, while I do my own work, to get her used to playing independently. This will be harder when she starts to crawl, but just this afternoon I finished the dishes and came back to find D with her book open in her lap, "reading". My heart! While she still very much enjoys her toys from previous blog posts (especially teethers with her top tooth about to poke through!), I wanted to focus this blog post on her new favorites.

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Besides books and knob puzzles (both of which she LOVES), most of her favorite toys involve some kind of cause and effect. In the past month, she has really been figuring out that she can make things happen with her own two hands. When she shakes the eggs, she makes music; when she hits the bell, it rings; when she turns one gear, the other turns. Even if the toy doesn't make a sound, she bangs two toys together to create one. See below for some ideas! 

Montessori Object Permanence Box with Tray and Ball - we started this with me showing her, and now she takes the ball and attempts (occasionally successfully!) to put it back in the hole. She delights in seeing that ball rolling into the tray each time!

Melissa & Doug Farm Animals Jumbo Knob Wooden Puzzle - this puzzle, along with others that have pictures under the pieces, are super fun and easy for her to pick up, and good pincer grasp practice!

Egg Shaker Set - these entertain D to no end. She loves shaking one in each hand and "entertaining" our dog!

Single Shape Puzzles - the more traditional Montessori route to first puzzles, and likely the first that D will get the pieces back into the inset, but for now just exploring.

Sensory Board - D's favorite toy! The noises and sensory experience of this board is amazing. Would be a fun one to make if you are handy like that.

Play Cube Activity Center - My sister had this one, and it's the perfect size for babies to reach on their tummies or sitting. I love how she reaches over and around to get to the different parts of the cube.

HABA Magica Clutching Toy - I kind of want this one as a stress ball for myself! A great one for babies to use two hands in coordination and teeth on too.

Hape Wooden Musical Instrument Set - D is still trying to figure out how to really make noise with these, but she is enjoying trying!

Multi-Color Rhythm Scarves - So many uses! D loves pulling these out of a box, playing peek-a-boo with them, and just runnings her hands through them!

Green Toys Stacker - a new favorite made from recycled milk jugs and oh-so-smooth and fun!

Sitting Pretty, with Confidence

Montessori in Real Life

Time just keeps flying by, and our D is almost 7 months old! Six months has been my favorite age so far. Although not yet crawling, she is observing and exploring everything and everyone around her, and clearly fascinated by it all. Up until 6 months, I had just been giving D time on her tummy and back on the floor to roll and play in whichever way she was interested. She has been quite content playing with her feet, gnawing on a teether, or batting at a mobile. In the past month,  she's also become a pro at rolling onto her tummy to grab a toy and rotating like a clock on her tummy. But since the 6-month mark, she's also been showing signs of wanting to explore, see, and do just a bit more. 

Which leads me to supported sitting. Traditional Montessorians usually advocate against supported sitting. They encourage parents to wait until their baby learns how to push up from their tummy into a sitting position on their own, which can happen as early as 7 months, but often later. In theory, I like this idea, but just as I placed D on her tummy before she could roll on her own, I also helped D sit up before she could get into that position by herself. I did this because she really enjoyed the different perspective, and getting to explore her toys and materials with both her hands in a sitting position. Sitting gives her a way to be closer to my level, and that in and of itself she loves.

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There are various forms and ways to start "supported sitting". I chose to wait until she showed signs of readiness to sit independently (holding her head back up fairly straight) to help her sit up, which for her was 6 months. Rather than Bumbo chairs or bouncers/walkers, I simply helped her figure out how to balance upright by sitting her between my legs on the floor, or with the Boppy around her. It really only took a week or so until she could sit up on her own without support - balancing her weight, albeit a bit wobbly. She toppled sometimes, and still does, but she's always on a soft surface and always on the floor to begin with, so never falls far. And this is how she learns her own body's abilities and limits!

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Though I can definitely see the appeal of the bumbo chair, walkers, bouncers, etc, the reason we haven't used these goes back to my Montessori training too. My issues with them (besides the noise!) is that they don't typically allow for free movement once the babies are placed inside. Babies don't get to learn how to balance if they are fully supported, and they can't reach in whatever direction they please. Instead, babies are essentially "stuck" which can lessen their motivation to sit and move on their own. I've also heard child PT's say that things like the bumbo chair put babies in an unnatural sitting position much earlier than they are ready. Lastly, some of these "supports" can lead to falls, more dangerous than from a sitting position on the floor. But to each his own, and if motherhood has taught me anything, it's "you do you" and what works for one family isn't what works for another.

So now that D is sitting on her own on the floor, I typically place a small basket of toys in front of her, allowing her to explore freely. I try to keep just 3 or 4 toys in the basket at a time, to not overwhelm, and then rotate them every week or so. While playing in a sitting position, she gets practice using both of her hands, and transferring toys from one to another. She is also learning how to throw toys to her side, and then reach around to grab them. Sometimes she goes from sitting to lying down on her side, and unless she fusses about it, I just let her explore from there. With this independent sitting, she will eventually learn how to get into a crawling position from sitting, or down to her tummy and back up again! It is really fun to watch how she explores both her body and environment from this new perspective. It makes her so proud and happy! 

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Here are some of D's favorite toys right now:

Deliciously Messy Food, Montessori Style

Montessori in Real Life

As a foodie myself, I was eagerly anticipating D's introduction to solid foods. Avocados, delicata, plums, oh my! As most things in child rearing, there are numerous methods for when and how to start solids, so you have to just pick your path and go with it. I leaned on my mama intuition, my fellow Montessori bloggers, and D's readiness to figure out how to start this exciting food journey.

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D started showing signs of readiness for solids a little after 4 months, so we started at 4 and a half months. Specifically: good head control, super interested in our food (and licking her lips accordingly), doubled her birth weight, and 2 early bottom teeth. Most importantly, when I tested out giving her a little spoonful of food, she closed her mouth around the spoon, swallowed, and smiled wide!

Though I was tempted to start with baby-led weaning (no purees - just small bits of whole food), I felt more comfortable starting with homemade single-food purees, to help her ease into solid foods and digestion. I purchased this all-in-one baby food maker to easily steam and puree my own veggies and fruits. I started with whole-grain cereal, followed by avocado, butternut squash, sweet potato, and then apple. I wanted to start with vegetables rather than fruits so that she didn't only want the sweet stuff! To make the purees extra creamy and digestible, I mixed in a little breastmilk too. Because D’s body still only needs the nutritions that come from milk at this point, she's really just tasting each of these foods rather than filling up on them.

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Although we have this awesome high chair that will grow with D through the years and be perfect for family meals, we are starting D off at this weaning table. This is a baby-appropriate table and chair that she can sit up in by herself and eventually get in and out of without adult assistance. The weaning table promotes independence, child participation, and a focus on treating infants as "real" people. Very Montessori. :) Already I can see that D wants to do as I do, particularly when it comes to eating, and this is one step in that direction. 

My favorite elements of the Montessori "weaning" set-up is that D gets her own spoon to self-feed. While I started out feeding her myself, she right away wanted to take hold of the spoon, so I began to let her. I was surprised at how good she was at getting the puree right into her mouth (or at least close)! We have some lovely bamboo & rubber spoons but they are still too big for her, so this week I purchased these sweet little espresso spoons for her to feed herself. You can see photos of her first experience with this spoon - not bad! For now, I'm scooping the puree with the spoon and then handing it to her. I still feed her too, so we each have a spoon and take turns. Obviously we are just embracing the mess. But with a bit (a lot) more practice, she'll be feeding herself like a pro.

Why the silver spoons, pictures above the table, and glass bowls? They all promote the feeling that our home is just as much D's as it is ours. She is just as deserving of the kind of dishes and set-up we have ourselves, and she learns to care for them as we do. It's a way to show D respect while also teaching her how to respect her environment. Obviously there are many ways to do this, and using plastic is totally fine, but this is one way to go about introducing food, Montessori style. I imagine we'll do some breakable and some non-breakable dishes depending on time and place!

In the next month or two we'll introduce a small glass for her to learn to drink water from and more whole food to explore and taste. There'll be breaks and messes, but also lots of opportunities for learning and enjoying glorious food! The beauty of an independent weaning table. But one baby step at a time. :) The food journey is only just beginning!

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Learning by Hands, and Mouth

Montessori in Real Life

"He does it with his hands, by experience, first in play and then through work. The hands are the instruments of man's intelligence." - Maria Montessori

D is now 14 weeks old! She has grown and changed so much, but one of the biggest developments recently has been her fascination and use of her hands. These past few weeks, D is all about grabbing objects, fabric, or often just her other hand, and bringing everything to her mouth. As a former developmental psych student, it has been so fun for me to geek out and watch her gradually develop this grasping and holding on skill.

Although babies are born with the palmar reflex (when you touch their palm, they close their fingers around your finger), they don't voluntarily grasp until closer to 3 months. In fact, newborns keep their hands clenched in fists for the first couple of months. But around 11 weeks, D began to open her hand in response to seeing an object (or more often my hair) to grab. Once she could hold on to an object, everything just started going to her mouth (that need to suck is so real). There doesn't seem to be a reason for D to touch an object if she can't also get it to her mouth. Let the germs begin...

When I began to notice D's interest in grasping, I started with simple objects for her to grab at, such as ribbons dangling from her wooden play gym. She especially enjoyed this when one of the ribbons had a bell to make noise! As she started opening her hand more, I helped her grasp a wooden rattle and other thin, lightweight toys to hold onto. Over time, she began to grasp the toys on her own when I held them out to her, and bring them to her mouth. She'd often just grab onto her onesie or burp cloth and bring that to her mouth. Now she has "advanced" to occasionally picking up a toy that is next to her, and holding on to the toys for longer stretches of time (we're still talking a couple minutes max). She is also starting to test her balance by grabbing a rattle or cloth in front of her during tummy time. Who knows where those little hands will take her next! In the meantime, I will just enjoy being D’s favorite grasping toy. ;) 

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Here are some of the toys we have enjoyed in this early grasping phase:

 

Baby-Led Tummy Time

Montessori in Real Life

All parents have heard the "back to sleep/tummy to play" advice on based on the AAP on repeat. Now that babies must be put to sleep on their back (D's swaddle even reminds me in case I missed the million memos), pediatricians recommend tummy time to strengthen the neck muscles and prevent the dreaded "flat head syndrome".

Unfortunately, now that we put babies on their backs from birth, they often don’t enjoy tummy time. In addition, some Montessorians and RIE proponents argue that we should skip tummy time until our babies can roll onto their own tummy from their back on their own. They argue that the back is the only natural (unaided) position for baby. I think they have valid arguments, however, I also appreciated my husband's point that young babies don't really put themselves in any positions on their own, even their back.

Baby-Led Tummy Time - Montessori in Real Life

I fall somewhere in the middle in my view of tummy time. While I do not think it is crucial in the first few months, I think it can be very helpful in gross motor development, and also provides an interesting new perspective for baby. I like the idea of following D's lead, and only placing her in tummy time when she is content to do so, and only as long as she indicates is enough. If D really disliked it after a few tries, we'd probably skip it until she could roll over, but for now she enjoys it and sometimes even cozily rests on her tummy.

I think it's important to note that tummy time doesn't have to be on the floor, or without comforts. While D probably spends a few minutes once or twice a day in tummy time on a rug or pillow, she also spends much more "tummy time" while resting on my chest after nursing, allowing her to look at my face. While sometimes this quickly turns into a boob snooze, more and more she is now lifting that big head of hers to take a look around.

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Here are some of the other ways we've made tummy time more enjoyable for D these first 2 months:

  1. Place baby on a super soft surface (her favorite is the sheepskin rug)

  2. Use a boppy or small pillow to elevate her head and hands

  3. Lie down next to her on the ground so she can see us

  4. Place a mirror or pictures in front of her or to the side

  5. Try different areas of house, to vary light and scenery

  6. Let her rest or suck on her fingers on her tummy

  7. Talk to her and encourage her (our dog likes to help with this!)

And that is how we are doing baby-led tummy time. For now at least. ;)

A Baby's Focus

Montessori in Real Life

The set-up of a child's environment is a key component of Montessori's philosophy. For an infant, a main feature of this environment is the movement area, where they can move freely in their natural position while absorbing their surroundings. Pictures and objects are placed nearby at the baby's eye level and be specifically designed to tap into their visual and cognitive abilities at each developmental stage. For the first couple months of a baby's life, this includes high contrast black and white mobiles, images, and a mirror for self discovery. The idea is that given time and space here, babies will work on concentration, visual tracking, gross motor skills, and develop an appreciation of quiet, alert time.

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Following this, I've set up various movement areas for D around the house. My husband likes to tease me by calling them "cognitive development stations". ;) In these areas, I usually lie her down on a soft blanket, rug, or the Montessori topponcino with plenty of wiggle room, and then provide some kind of visual stimuli appropriate to a newborn's sight and reach. This has been a big success for both me and D. Several times a day, she lies on her own on the floor (up to 30 minutes at a time!), content and focused on the black and white animals, herself in the floor mirror, or the munari mobile. I recently added in a bell on a ribbon that she enjoys kicking and swatting as she wiggles. Each set up is simple, but just interesting enough to capture her attention.

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It has been really fun to see her interest, concentration, and movement develop over the last month or so, as she "plays" on her own. It gives me a chance to really appreciate all those new baby sounds, expressions, and jerky movements. Seeing her happy in these movement areas gives me hope is that the time she spends in these movement areas now will give her an appreciation of independent play as she gets a bit older. It's nice to have that balance of social and independent time. Because it is equally fun to lie down next to her or cuddle with her, and these days, occasionally be rewarded with a smile! In these short spurts of D's alert time, we are finding that balance of quiet time and mama time, both equally sweet.

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